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13 Things In "Goosebumps" That We've All Experienced Waaay Too Often


1. When your Halloween outfit is haunted and you turn into a demon.

Twentieth Television / Via Netflix

This is genuinely frustrating. You’re spending your Halloween walking around with a sculpture of your own head while wearing a demon mask, living your truth, and then you realise it’s stuck to you and you’re turning into a demon. Happens every damn year too.

2. You get stuck in a model of a town and are turned into a pig.

Twentieth Television / Via Netflix

A few summers ago this happened to me and I know others who have had the same experience. You find a cool-looking model of a town but get sucked into it which is already quite the mind-fuck. Then the townspeople want you to open up a lemonade stall and as soon as you’re hiking up your prices to get the dollar in, THEY TURN YOU INTO A PIG. Which is just so rude and so mean and all you’re wanting to do is up your profits and have a good business. Sigh. I’ve personally not gone near a model town since.

3. Thinking your neighbour is a ghost but in reality, you’re the ghost.

Twentieth Television / Via Netflix

You’re enjoying your summer and some new kid moves into town. You think he’s pretty weird and probably a ghost, because it’s a very logical conclusion to come to if someone is a bit odd. Instead of ghosting him, you harass him and tell him he’s a ghost. But you soon realise you’re the fucking ghost and you have been ghosting some poor kid the entire time. A bit traumatising and I wouldn’t recommend.

4. Waking up from a dream to realise, you’re tiny and ants are in fact, fucking huge.

Twentieth Television / Via Netflix

We’ve all had this dream. You dream of humankind being bigger than ants and insects and all that. You dream that we run the show but then you wake up and remember, humans are tiny and ants are the big ass overlords who rule your life. Really shitty dream, frankly.

5. Chilling at a scary theme park then realising you’re the attraction.

Twentieth Television / Via Netflix

It’s quite common, I think. You’re at the theme park with your BFF and their crazy professor Dad who is being a bit shady and odd. You’re suspicious for a while until you realise, you’re both robots being used to test out the park, which takes a moment to compute. Maybe try to avoid theme parks in future – I have.

6. Finding out you’re a vampire.

Twentieth Television / Via Netflix

Every kid goes through this. You’re anxiously waiting for your Hogwarts acceptance letter but instead, you find out that as soon as you hit puberty, you’ll turn into a vampire. Puberty already seemed hard enough but with the vampire bit thrown in too? It was damn tricky. Shoutout to all teens still going through this.

7. Your sink having an evil sponge living under it.

Twentieth Television / Via Netflix

You find a sponge under your sink that is actually alive and feeding off your bad luck (Never-ending in my life) – gross. This experience did not convince me that hand-cleaning dishes was better than using a dishwasher.

8. A camera predicting a horrible accident.

Twentieth Television / Via Netflix

You find a camera that looks cool and ~hip~ so you and the gang take selfies but start seeing scary shit. Like, one of you has broken your leg in the picture and then it shortly happens in real life. This ended my photography career and I’ll never insta again.

9. When you and your fam eat the local monster librarian.

Twentieth Television / Via Netflix

This is a classic that happens far too often. You and the fam move to a new town to hide the fact you’re a monster, but you realise your local librarian is also a monster so what do you do? You all eat him. Can’t have too many monsters in the one town or people may get…suspicious.

10. The new kids at your school being reptilian aliens.

Twentieth Television / Via Netflix

No offence, new kids, but it seems that y’all were always reptilian aliens in disguise. That’s not a bad thing, don’t worry. But it’s all the time, maybe you’d be better with a different disguise. Try a cat, or maybe a chihuahua. Be creative, you know.

11. Finding out your Dad is in fact, an evil plant clone of your actual Dad.

Twentieth Television / Via Netflix

Remember when your Dad was a keen botanist? Remember when he went ~strange~ for a while? Remember when it turned out he was actually an evil plant clone that your Dad had grown in an experiment that went wrong? Yeah, me too.

12. You sadly kill a cat and then turn into one.

Twentieth Television / Via Netflix

Cycling over a cat by accident is seriously upsetting. No cat deserves that. So it’s probably fair that every time this happened to you, you turned into a cat. Not the worst of curses, being a cat is quite fun for a while. Until some other fool cycles over you. Cyclists, please be wary of cats.

13. An evil dummy sabotaging your ventriloquism career.

20th Television / Via giphy.com

Back in your ventriloquist phase as a teen (forget emo or scene phases, this was the major one), your attempts were forever scuppered by some little shite called Slappy. Time and time again, he’d be back to ruin your career with his smug little face and his fabulous eyebrows. He’s the reason I had to give up ventriloquism and pick up something less cool and terrifying. Screw you Slappy, screw you.



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