17 Struggles You'll Only Understand If You've Hunted For An Apartment

1. You start scrolling through listings online, which you have to squint at for, like, 17 minutes just to understand.

Do they want $700 or $1200 for this "good shit room"???

Do they want $700 or $1200 for this “good shit room”???

2. Or they’re so creepy you consider calling the police.

* blinks *

* blinks *

3. Je téléphone à la police!!!

"Social drinker only"

“Social drinker only”

4. And the only places in your budget have the shower in the kitchen???

Mmmmm, sanitary.

Mmmmm, sanitary.

5. Or the decor is…um…eclectic.

Is that whole "furnished" thing negotiable?

Is that whole “furnished” thing negotiable?

6. I love the mid-century modern look of this space.

It has the open floor plan that was on my wish list!

It has the open floor plan that was on my wish list!

7. You learn to run the other direction when you see a listing with the word “cozy.”,

How dare you??,

How dare you??

8. Because ven when a listing says the bedroom is “massive,” you might show up and discover it’s the size of a coffin.,

Serious vampire inquiries only.,

Serious vampire inquiries only.

9. But the broker basically has a master’s degree in putting a positive spin on the place.

Comedy Central / Via

“Think of how much privacy you’ll have without windows!!”

11. You end up touring, like, 85 apartments in one day, and all of the current tenants have never heard of Lysol.



12. Your standards start to sink lower and lower.

Netflix / Via

“I actually prefer an apartment without closets!”

13. Except, even when you find a place you like, apartments rent so quickly that you barely have any time to decide if it’s really worth forking over thousands of dollars and a good kidney.

The CW / Via

You want first month’s rent, last month’s rent, a security deposit, and a broker’s fee?? Who do you think I am, Rich Uncle Pennybags?

14. And before you know it, the only places you found livable are off the market.



15. So, you keep hunting…and hunting…and eventually, another diamond in the rough appears — with a dishwasher!!!



16. By the grace of Beyoncé, your application is accepted! You put down your deposit! And you sign your life awa— I mean, the lease!

Disney / Via

“Sign here, here, here, here, here, here, initial here, sign here, here, and here.”

17. Savings and emotions drained, you finally exhale, knowing that before long, you’ll be settled into your new home, a lil’ corner of the city that’s all yours.

Paramount Pictures / Via

“I’m never moving again.”

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