Yesterday it rained in New York. And when it rains, it pours! And when it pours, Fergie takes the public subway because taking private above ground transportation will take too dang long and she’s gotta get to Cipriani’s on Wall Street!!!
And I guess for someone whose daily routine is not being squished between strangers’ boobs and butts on the L train, taking the New York City Subway is a jolly ol’ thrill. So obviously Fergie’s mini-doc (aka Instagram stories) about her trip from 60th street to Wall Street on the subway, was the best short film of the year!!
Act 1: Fergie has someone hold an umbrella for her while she walks into the deep dark depths of the subway, all while someone records her.
Act 2: SLO-MO SUBWAY GLAM SHOT.
Act 3: HOLY SHIT!!! SHE SEES A TRAIN!!! A real live subway car. Conductor must conduct!
Act 4: STILL PHOTOS INTERLUDE. Fergalicious poses for all the peasants on the train.
Act 5: Fergie spots a NYPD officer!!!!! And takes this video which makes me slightly uncomfortable!!!!
Act 6: Meteorologist Fergie is now on the train and explains the “tropical storm” and how it interfered with her travel plans. Switches to black and white for that Pleasantville feel.
Act 7: A fan on the subway played “Glamorous” outloud on their phone! This is a clear violation of subway code but Fergie loves it and dances along. Showtime dancers are shaking.
Act 8: Glam walk past un-glam pedestrians.
Act 9: Fergie makes it to Wall Street, in the position she started but now walking up the stairs to her final destination. She survived the NYC Subway system!!!
And for the final act I present this man, aka me the entire time: