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A Definitive Ranking Of "Sex And The City" Men That's So Accurate, It's Basically Science

12. Richard Wright

Ah, Richard. He'd be perfect if he hadn't been such a cheating jackass. I honestly don't think he ever loved Samantha, and frankly, his only redeeming qualities were that he was rich, suave, and understood Samantha's ambition.

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Ah, Richard. He’d be perfect if he hadn’t been such a cheating jackass. I honestly don’t think he ever loved Samantha, and frankly, his only redeeming qualities were that he was rich, suave, and understood Samantha’s ambition.

11. James

James is so insignificant in the grand scheme of things that the show didn't even bother to give him a last name. But, he was the first person Samantha fell in love with — something she told him before they ever even slept together, which is very non-Samantha behavior. Ultimately, Sam's problem with James was that he wasn't packing anything below the belt. MY problem with James is that he was unwilling to talk about it and became angry, ie when he told Sam, "Maybe your vagina is just too big!"

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James is so insignificant in the grand scheme of things that the show didn’t even bother to give him a last name. But, he was the first person Samantha fell in love with — something she told him before they ever even slept together, which is very non-Samantha behavior. Ultimately, Sam’s problem with James was that he wasn’t packing anything below the belt. MY problem with James is that he was unwilling to talk about it and became angry, ie when he told Sam, “Maybe your vagina is just too big!”

10. Jack Berger

FUCKING. BERGER. I really had high hopes for him. He and Carrie were both writers, he got along great with her friends, and he was actually talented. Their relationship was full of passion and they swapped 'I love you's' right out of the gate. But, that double finger to his ex should've been a red flag. He was intimidated by her success and couldn't support her. He acted childish when Carrie made a joke about his book, aka ScrunchieGate, not to mention, breaking up with her via Post-It was cowardly and straight up disrespectful. Jack, I'm not sorry, I can, and I do hate you.

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FUCKING. BERGER. I really had high hopes for him. He and Carrie were both writers, he got along great with her friends, and he was actually talented. Their relationship was full of passion and they swapped ‘I love you’s’ right out of the gate. But, that double finger to his ex should’ve been a red flag. He was intimidated by her success and couldn’t support her. He acted childish when Carrie made a joke about his book, aka ScrunchieGate, not to mention, breaking up with her via Post-It was cowardly and straight up disrespectful. Jack, I’m not sorry, I can, and I do hate you.

9. Mr. Big

I have soooo many questions about Big. What do you do for a living? Why are you always in the car? How old are you even? He and Carrie might be OTP, but that's only because they're both kind of garbage. (I said what I said!) Putting his affair with Carrie aside for the moment, he strings her along from Season 1 all through Season 6. He's never quite sure of how he feels about her, and when he ~thinks~ he's figured it out, he selfishly tells her and jeopardizes her other relationships. Oh yeah, and he STOOD HER UP AT THE ALTAR (or the lobby of the library, whatever). He and Carrie may have had history and chemistry together, but this isn't high school and this isn't a good relationship.

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I have soooo many questions about Big. What do you do for a living? Why are you always in the car? How old are you even? He and Carrie might be OTP, but that’s only because they’re both kind of garbage. (I said what I said!) Putting his affair with Carrie aside for the moment, he strings her along from Season 1 all through Season 6. He’s never quite sure of how he feels about her, and when he ~thinks~ he’s figured it out, he selfishly tells her and jeopardizes her other relationships. Oh yeah, and he STOOD HER UP AT THE ALTAR (or the lobby of the library, whatever). He and Carrie may have had history and chemistry together, but this isn’t high school and this isn’t a good relationship.

8. Skipper Johnston

There was nothing really wrong with Skipper, but there was nothing really right with him either. He was sort of just, eh? He made Miranda feel special, and she definitely took him for granted. But he was also super clingy. Case in point: That time he took a call from Miranda while having sex with someone else and then proceeded to break up with said girl (again while still having sex), because Miranda hinted she might want to get back together. Yikes!

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There was nothing really wrong with Skipper, but there was nothing really right with him either. He was sort of just, eh? He made Miranda feel special, and she definitely took him for granted. But he was also super clingy. Case in point: That time he took a call from Miranda while having sex with someone else and then proceeded to break up with said girl (again while still having sex), because Miranda hinted she might want to get back together. Yikes!

7. Steve Brady

Miranda had a ton of walls up and Steve broke them down one by one, no matter how many times she pushed him away. Out of all the guys she dated, Miranda was most herself with Steve. When they first started dating, he was a little immature and was clearly allergic to responsibility, but he gets his act together when he opens Scout and after Brady is born. The one big hiccup is when he cheats on Miranda in the movie, which is why he's at number seven and not lower on the list.

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Miranda had a ton of walls up and Steve broke them down one by one, no matter how many times she pushed him away. Out of all the guys she dated, Miranda was most herself with Steve. When they first started dating, he was a little immature and was clearly allergic to responsibility, but he gets his act together when he opens Scout and after Brady is born. The one big hiccup is when he cheats on Miranda in the movie, which is why he’s at number seven and not lower on the list.

6. Trey MacDougal

I'll be honest. Even though he had problems in the bedroom, I'll never forgive him for telling Charlotte "Alrighty" when she said they should get married. Like, who says that?? Anyway, Trey was a decent enough guy who was perfect on paper. He loved Charlotte and treated her like a princess and was even willing to have an open marriage when he couldn't satisfy her needs. But, he was a mama's boy if I've ever seen one and their relationship always seemed a little forced. Sort of like their marriage was just one long first date. A good first date! But, still a date.

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I’ll be honest. Even though he had problems in the bedroom, I’ll never forgive him for telling Charlotte “Alrighty” when she said they should get married. Like, who says that?? Anyway, Trey was a decent enough guy who was perfect on paper. He loved Charlotte and treated her like a princess and was even willing to have an open marriage when he couldn’t satisfy her needs. But, he was a mama’s boy if I’ve ever seen one and their relationship always seemed a little forced. Sort of like their marriage was just one long first date. A good first date! But, still a date.

5. Aleksandr Petrovsky

I don't know why so many people hate on Aleksandr — he was fantastic. First of all, he was handsome, rich, talented, and kind of famous. Secondly, he was so romantic that Carrie literally fainted because she couldn't handle it. She fainted, people! And how romantic is it that he asked her to move to Paris! Whenever that plot is brought up in movies and stuff, the girl's biggest complaint is that the guy moves away and never asked her to come with him. Clearly, they should've found a hot Russian artist to date. Oh, and as for that slap in the season finale? We all know it was actually an accident and everyone was just being overly dramatic. Yes, he was a workaholic and he definitely should've paid more attention to Carrie when they were in Paris, but all in all, he was pretty great.

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I don’t know why so many people hate on Aleksandr — he was fantastic. First of all, he was handsome, rich, talented, and kind of famous. Secondly, he was so romantic that Carrie literally fainted because she couldn’t handle it. She fainted, people! And how romantic is it that he asked her to move to Paris! Whenever that plot is brought up in movies and stuff, the girl’s biggest complaint is that the guy moves away and never asked her to come with him. Clearly, they should’ve found a hot Russian artist to date. Oh, and as for that slap in the season finale? We all know it was actually an accident and everyone was just being overly dramatic. Yes, he was a workaholic and he definitely should’ve paid more attention to Carrie when they were in Paris, but all in all, he was pretty great.

4. Aidan Shaw

Sweet, precious baby Aidan! The golden retriever of boyfriends! Carrie did NOT deserve him. He was good and honest and loving. Aidan did everything right. He gave Carrie his heart and she put it in a shredder. The only, only wrong thing he ever did was take Carrie back and then freaking propose. That's just poor judgement.

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Sweet, precious baby Aidan! The golden retriever of boyfriends! Carrie did NOT deserve him. He was good and honest and loving. Aidan did everything right. He gave Carrie his heart and she put it in a shredder. The only, only wrong thing he ever did was take Carrie back and then freaking propose. That’s just poor judgement.

3. Robert Leeds

Though saying "I love you" on a cookie is definitely cheesy, I'm not even gonna fault him for it because who doesn't love cookies? Robert was attractive, a DOCTOR, and was very interested in Miranda. He didn't bat an eye at her being a single mom, and any man that can get Miranda Hobbs to take a day off work to spend the day in bed with him must have a few sexy tricks up his sleeve.

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Though saying “I love you” on a cookie is definitely cheesy, I’m not even gonna fault him for it because who doesn’t love cookies? Robert was attractive, a DOCTOR, and was very interested in Miranda. He didn’t bat an eye at her being a single mom, and any man that can get Miranda Hobbs to take a day off work to spend the day in bed with him must have a few sexy tricks up his sleeve.

2. Harry Goldenblatt

I could honestly write a whole post just on how in love with Harry Goldenblatt I am. He is the purest of pure souls. He worships the ground that Charlotte walks on and lives to make her happy. All of that mushy stuff Charlotte said about fate bringing them together, and how if she hadn't married Trey she never would've met Harry? Yea, well I'll happily gobble all of that up. He's perfect.

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I could honestly write a whole post just on how in love with Harry Goldenblatt I am. He is the purest of pure souls. He worships the ground that Charlotte walks on and lives to make her happy. All of that mushy stuff Charlotte said about fate bringing them together, and how if she hadn’t married Trey she never would’ve met Harry? Yea, well I’ll happily gobble all of that up. He’s perfect.

1. Smith Jerrod

SMITH!!! First off, this is what he looks like. That is his face, people!! Excuse me while I wipe drool off my keyboard. Now, right from the beginning, this sweet, sweet man only ever had eyes for Samantha. One of my favorite things about Smith was that he forced Samantha to admit her feelings for him and take their relationship seriously, but in a sweet way. Like, that time he made her hold her hand. And, when he shaved his head to show that he "could handle" her having cancer. Or, at the beginning when he made Sam get to know the real him, when she just wanted run for the hills. Towards the end, Samantha nearly loved Smith more than she loved herself and that says A LOT.

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SMITH!!! First off, this is what he looks like. That is his face, people!! Excuse me while I wipe drool off my keyboard. Now, right from the beginning, this sweet, sweet man only ever had eyes for Samantha. One of my favorite things about Smith was that he forced Samantha to admit her feelings for him and take their relationship seriously, but in a sweet way. Like, that time he made her hold her hand. And, when he shaved his head to show that he “could handle” her having cancer. Or, at the beginning when he made Sam get to know the real him, when she just wanted run for the hills. Towards the end, Samantha nearly loved Smith more than she loved herself and that says A LOT.

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